The lack of communication is a major motif in the novel.
Wharton explores it in terms of both literal physical communication and the more subtle
aspects of emotional communication between and among the characters. The severe winter
storms break communication among those of Starkfield and the outlying rural areas;
people are isolated by geography and nature. When the primary characters are in each
other's physical presence, however, they often talk without really communicating. Truth
remains buried or unspoken; many conversations exist on two levels simultaneously--what
is said and what is truly felt. One major theme developed in the novel is that
isolation and loneliness, very destructive forces, result when people cannot communicate
in meaningful ways, for whatever reason. As a result, it is difficult to find in the
novel any positive aspects of the lack of communication.
In
regard to the examples you have cited, the only positive results that might have accrued
from them is that they served to temporarily avoid pain or conflict, to postpone it for
a while. So long as the truth remained unspoken, life could continue without major
emotional disruption. This, however, did not solve problems or eliminate the emotional
conflicts that boiled under the surface. By avoiding their expression, they were
deepened and magnified, leading directly to the novel's tragic conclusion. Had the
characters communicated their feelings and thus acknowledged the truth, a "happy ending"
might not have resulted in their lives, but the horrendous misery their lives became
might have been avoided.
Finally, when Ethan raised the
subject about Mattie's leaving them, he did so in the context of Mattie's possibly
getting married. It was his way of dealing with that painful thought. Perhaps he wanted
to hear her say that she would never marry, meaning that she would never leave him, even
though he had no right to ask her to make that sacrifice.
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