I assume that you are talking about the fictional story of
Barbara Allen that has been made famous by folk songs and such. A version of that is in
the link below.
If this is the whole story (and I have not
heard or seen any versions of the song that differ greatly from this) then I would say
her treatment of him is partly cruel and partly not.
Her
original attitude towards him is not cruel. If he really loved her so much (that he
would die because of her scorn) then why did he "slight" her when making toasts? In
addition, it's not her fault that he had it so bad for her that he would waste away
because she's mad at him.
However, once she comes to see
him, she might as well have been a little nicer. Sure, Jemmy said mean things to her
then, but he's dying -- why not be a bit nicer to him. She could have said she was
sorry even if she wasn't. She could have shown some compassion instead of basically
saying "you're dying and that's what you get for being rude to
me."
So I don't think that she was cruel to "make" him pine
away for love of her. But I do think it was a bit cruel for her to act as she did as he
lay dying.
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